Pierced
by Misha1088
Summary: After a fight he nearly loses, Angel finds himself deeply injured and unable to recover from the brutal attack, as his wounds steadily got worse.  **Crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer**
1. Chapter 1

Title: Pierced

Name: Misha

E-mail:

Rating: PG

Category: Angst, friendship, family, budding romance

Content: B/R, X/Anya, W/T, eventual C/A, C/A/G/W family

Summary: After a fight he nearly loses, Angel finds himself deeply injured and unable to recover from the brutal attack, as his wounds steadily got worse.

Spoilers: Season 2, Episode 8 of AtS and Season 5, Episode 8 of BtVS

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't claim them...anymore.

Distribution: Want some? Hit me up.

Notes: I was seriously sleep deprived when I came up with this so bear with me.

Thanks/Dedication: My loyal readers/commenters. Thanks for the support and the e-mails.

Feedback: Hell yeah.

**[B]One[/B]**

To Angel, it seemed like he had been fighting this demon for ages. For every punch he threw, the damn thing countered. And it didn't seem to be tiring. Angel's adrenaline was pumping as he got his second wind and hurled himself at the demon, finally landing enough force to drive it back a couple of steps. Angel pressed the attack, driving his fists into the demon's torso repeatedly.

The demon tore into Angel with his claws, snapped at him with his teeth, but the vampire ignored the pain. He pounded the demon, driving him back. The demon howled, spittle strung between his teeth, fists raining on Angel's back and head. But Angel was in another place, oblivious to the injuries being inflicted on him.

Angel doubled his fists and swung his arms like a club, slamming them into the demon's head. Angel took the demon's head in both hands and twisted hard, snapping it's neck. The demon fell to the floor, lifeless.

Angel fell to the floor soon after, weak and in pain. His body had taken a beating. Now that his adrenaline rush was over, he felt every bite, every scratch, every stab. His side was pounding with pain and he took in a shaky breath, willing it away.

"Angel. Angel man! Where you at?" Gunn called, looking for the vampire. "There you are. Shit man, this ain't no time for a nap." Off the vampire's glare. "Sorry. Just messin' around. Come on. Get up."

"Give me a second."

"We gotta bounce man."

"Just let my incredible pain lessen just a little bit before I'm forced to get up, okay?"

"Barbie's right. You are melodramatic."

"Shut up, and help me up." Gunn offered a hand, helping pull Angel to his feet, elicting a growl of pain from the vampire.

"Suck it up. You're supervamp, remember?"

"Just get me to the hotel."

"For real? I can drive?"

"Yeah. But don't get used to it. And be careful with her." He said, leaning on Gunn as they made their way to the car.

"Her?"

"Just get me home."

One Week Later...

Angel stared down at his side, just emerging from the shower. It had been a week and that damn gash in his side had yet to heal, if he didn't know better, he'd say it was getting worse. He knew he should tell one of his friends, but he had a job. He was supposed to keep them safe.

"Angel?" Cordelia's voice floated from the other side of the door. Angel reached for his shirt, body twisting wrong and sending a very sharp pain coursing through his torso. He grabbed his side and tried to stop the cry of pain, but to no avail.

"Be right out!" His voice was strained, but he hoped she didn't notice. He pulled the shirt on with a grimace.

"Okay. I'm gonna go to get some coffee. The maker's busted. Want anything?"

"Coffee." She rolled her eyes.

"Duh. Want me to pick you up some O pos?"

"You don't have to."

"I'll get you some." She said and turned to leave. Angel heard her heart beat move farther and farther away, until even straining, he couldn't pick it up. He put on his pants, socks and shoes, then made his way downstairs. Every step he took resulted in more pain and wore him out. By the time he got downstairs, he felt like he could go back to bed...but he knew he couldn't make it upstairs.

"Hey Angel man. How's it hangin'?" Gunn asked cheerily, entering the hotel.

"A little to the left, you?"

"Huh?"

"Good. you?"

"I'm cool. Waiting for my coffee. Damn coffee maker broke."

"I heard. Didn't even know you drank coffee."

"Never did 'til I started hangin' out with ya'll."

"Blame me for your caffeine addiction. Thanks."

"That's why I'm here man."

"Sometimes I can't tell if you two are fighting, or just having friendly conversation." Wesley said, walking in with a cup of tea.

"Look! It's English tea boy!" Wesley scowled at Gunn.

"At least I'm not the one obsessing, waiting for a cup of Starbucks."

"If I remember, you shouted an order at Cordelia right before she left."

"Yes. Well, I...Cordelia! Thank God!" Both Wesley and Gunn rushed to the young woman.

"Thanks Barbie."

"Yes. Thank you Cordelia." The two men went...somewhere. Angel wasn't sure where. It was out of his peripheral vision and he didn't bother turning his head. Cordelia stood in front of Angel.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just...kind of tired."

"Is this about Darla cos if it is..."

"It's not."

"You sure?"

"I think I know my own problems Cor."

"Soooorry. Here. Drink this. You're going through caffeine withdraws. It's making you grouchy." He didn't respond, just took the coffee and took a drink, then coughed and made a face.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing."

"Then what_ [I]is[/I]_ it?"

"Double chocolate mocha latte."

"Don't they sell regular coffee anymore?" Cordelia glared at him.

"You are so grumpy!" She said and smacked him on his side. Angel let out a loud cry of agony and fell on his opposite side, off the couch. The cry brought Wesley and Gunn running in.

"What's wrong?"

"Angel. Quit acting like such a baby. I didn't even hit you that hard." She touched his side softly and he let out another cry. She backed away, holding her hands. "Angel. What's wrong?" She looked down and saw a thin layer of blood on her hands. "Oh God. Angel." She went to the vampire and tried to pull his shirt up. He fought with what little strength he had left, despite the pain. Fabric tore and Cordelia pulled the ripped material from his body, exposing the large gash that traveled up his side, nearly ten inches in length.

"Oh Dear Lord." Wesley said. "I'll get the first aid kit."

"Don't...bother." Angel said, voice thick with pain.

"What?"

"You already...patched...it up." He told Cordelia. She looked at him, confused. Angel slowly sat back up, taking in breaths through his teeth, willing the pain away. After a few moments, he regained his composure. "This is the same one from last week." Cordelia stared at him. So did the rest of his friends, but his gaze was solely on Cordelia's face.

"A week?"

"Yeah."

"You've had this for a week and didn't tell me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Don't even Angel. You hid this from me for a week. That I don't know bull shit isn't gonna work this time."

"I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"I'm supposed to protect you guys. I'm supposed to keep you safe...but I can't even figure out why this isn't going away. How can I protect you when I can't even protect myself?"

"Angel. Sometimes you gotta let us help you."

"I know."

"Good. This is one of those times. I think you should go lay down."

"What?"

"You are so not on my good side right now mister so, just do what I say." Angel stared at her. He felt like a kid being punished. But he did as told and stood up, limping towards to staircase. Cordelia frowned. "Gunn."

"On it Barbie." Gunn helped Angel up the stairs, then jogged slowly back down. "Vamps tucked in." Cordelia looked at Wesley.

"This is bad, isn't it?" Wesley furrowed his brow and gave her a sad look.

"A vampire that can't heal...it isn't good." Cordelia nodded and pursed her lips together.

"We've all been going home at night so none of us knows how much pain he really is in. I'm guessing a lot considering that cut...we should research. Stay here day and night. Wes?"

"Of course."

"Gunn?"

"I'm up for it."

"Let's get to it."

A few hours later, Wesley had found that the only things that could possibly cause permanent damage to a vampire were the poison he was inflicted with years ago or a specific clan of demon.

Gunn and Wesley were sprawled in the living room, scanning through various books to find any specifics that could help them determine whether it was the poison or demon, since none of them actually witnessed the damage done to Angel those few years ago. Cordelia snuck away with the excuse of needing a lunch break. Neither said much of it, just grunted in agreement.

Cordelia picked up the phone and stared at it, hearing the dial tone. She took in a deep breath and dialed the number.

**[B]Two[/B]**

Buffy held her mother's hand. Joyce was lying in bed, face pale, lips white. She didn't look well and Buffy recognized it.

"She's going to be fine." The doctor said convincingly. "She just needs to rest here."

"Why so many machines?" Buffy asked, skeptical, but trying to put up a strong front for Dawn.

"Her body's trying to recover. In order to do that, to be able to fight this completely, it shuts down other systems. The machines keep those systems going so the body just has to worry about fighting the illness." Buffy nodded. "Any other questions I can answer for you?"

"No. I think we'd just like some alone time with Mom." The doctor nodded in understanding and walked out.

"She's going to be fine." Riley said, his arms had been around Buffy the entire time.

"I know. I just needed to hear it from someone who knows what he's doing."

"See Mom? I knew you'd be okay." Dawn had kept hope when Buffy couldn't. So now the four were scattered around the room, with Xander, Willow, Anya, Tara and Giles as well. They all just stayed quiet for a few moments, all relieved to hear that Joyce would recover. The calm quiet was broken when the sound of a phone rang loud in the room, making everyone jump.

"Hello...Cordelia?" Willow's voice rose in surprise. Everyone turned to her, in either confusion or shock, Xander in both and a bit of anticipation and anxiety. The mention of his ex brought up very conflicting emotions. "What's up? Cordelia...What's wrong?" Buffy tensed at her friend's question. "The poison? Killer of the dead?" Willow asked.

"Angel." Buffy said, breaking from Riley's hold. Riley frowned, hurt by Buffy's loyalty to her ex even after all this time. "What's wrong? Is he okay?" Willow held up her hand to silence Buffy so she could hear Cordelia.

"Symptoms? Um...the arrow shot. Yeah...the wound stayed. I remember a fever. He was delirious. Poison lines coming out from the wound...he was sweaty. You're welcome. What's wr...Cordelia?" She looked at the phone then shrugged. "She hung up."

"What's going on?"

"She wouldn't tell me. Just wanted to know if I remembered the symptoms Angel had when he was poisoned by Faith."

"Is Angel poisoned?"

"I don't know."

"How can you not know? You talked to her."

"She didn't say anything else. Just wanted to know. I told her. Then she said thank you and hung up. That was it."

"She sound okay?" Xander asked and received a few confused looks and a glare from Anya.

"She sounded panicky, and like she was in a hurry."

"Give me the phone." Buffy said. Willow handed it to her. "I'm calling back. I'm gonna find out what's going on."

Cordelia walked back into the room where Wesley and Gunn were stretching their limps.

"Wes. I remember a talk Angel and I had a long time ago. A really long time ago. Anyway, he mentioned he was delirious, sweating, had a fever. And the wound had these...like, lines. Where the poison was spreading. He doesn't have that so it's gotta be the demon." Wesley looked at Cordelia suspiciously. He'd find out where she got her information later. Right now, it wasn't important.

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"Very well." Wesley picked up the book to his left and read through it. "Venarzous demon. Nasty creatures. It's said that...victims of their bites would use Holy water to stop the infection from spreading." They all grimaced.

"It's gotta be done. We have some?"

"Lower drawer compartment of the weapons cabinet." Cordelia got the Holy water and walked upstairs, Gunn and Wes in tow. As they entered the room, the phone rang.

"I'll get it. Cordelia, you do the Holy water. Angel won't hit you." She nodded and walked in behind Gunn. Wesley ran down the stairs and picked up the cordless phone.

"Angel Investigations. Wesley speaking."

"Wesley?"

"Yes. I just said that. Is this important?" Wesley made his way back up the stairs, phone in hand.

"It's Buffy."

"Buffy. Can you call back another time? I have something-"

"No."

"Well, then, to what do we owe this phone call?"

"I could ask you the same question. Cordelia called us less than five minutes ago."

"Oh, she did, did she?" Wesley looked in and saw Cordelia trying desperately to convince a terrified Angel why it was okay for her to douse him with Holy water. Wesley smirked as Gunn just looked on, not sure what to do.

"Yeah. She called Will asking about the killer of the dead poison. What's going on?"

"Buffy, you really don't need to be involved in this."

"Wesley. It's Angel."

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't be involved."

"Wesley. Please. If I could help him-"

"Buffy, you don't help. You hurt him." Buffy was taken aback.

"I don't..." Wesley sighed.

"Angel was injured in a fight with a demon. Pretty normal stuff."

"So, why are we getting calls from Cordelia? Frantic calls?"

"You aren't just going to let me hang up, are you?"

"No." Wesley looked in as Cordelia was now pleading with Angel, who was giving in to the hazel eyed seer. When it came to Cordelia, Angel couldn't resist.

"Fine. Last week, Angel was fighting a Venarzous demon. During the battle, Angel received a nasty wound. Well, since the fight, Angel's been recovering with the resilience...or lack there of, of an average human."

"English, Wesley."

"Angel no get better." He said in a tone as if he were speaking to a two year old. She scowled on the other end, but continued.

"So, why call now? Why not a week ago?"

"He was reluctant to confide in us. He's socially inept that way. So, we just found out about his injury."

"Is he going to recover?"

"We're not sure." Wes said, voice the saddest Buffy had ever heard it.

"Oh." Buffy was stunned into silence. Angel couldn't die. Not again. Last time was hard enough. But if Angel died and she didn't do anything to help him...she wouldn't be able to live with herself. "How bad is he?"

"We're not completely sure." At that time, Cordelia must've poured the holy water because a loud, anguished, angry sound echoed throughout the hotel, making Wesley wince.

"Ahh shit. It's bubbling. Cordelia, you poured too much!"

"I didn't mean to! Oh no...oh sh-Welsey!"

"English! Get in here before Barbie kills Irish!"

"I have to go Buffy."

"Wesley wait..." The line went dead. "Hello?"

"What's up?" Willow asked.

"Not sure exactly. Angel's sick. Really sick."

"How? He's a vampire. He doesn't get sick. Except for that poison thing. But it's not that." Willow said positively.

"Demon fight. I think I heard him. It was a yell or...something. He sounded like he was in a lot of pain."

"Oh no." Xander said. "I know that tone look thing you're doing and no. No LA road trip. I'm not looking to get my ass kicked by sick or healthy Angel."

"Xander. You're pathetic."

"I don't like loud, angry giants threatening me with violence. How is that pathetic?"

"He's dying Xander." Willow blurted before she could stop herself, then looked to Buffy. "Sorry."

"He's a vampire. He's not supposed to die."

"He did before." Willow looked to Buffy again. "Sorry, again."

"I'm just saying-"

"Just shut up Xander." Anya scolded.

"Look, I'm going. If you don't want to come Xander, that's fine. But I'm going. With Angel not healthy, anything could happen to him or any of the others." Buffy turned to Joyce. "Mom."

"Oh, honey, I'll be fine. As soon as you all leave, I'm going to sleep. Go to LA. They need your help more than I do right now." Buffy gave her mom a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks mom. I should go pack." She walked out. The group said their goodbyes and walked out, ever loyal to the Slayer and ready to follow her to LA.

The hotel had a melancholy atmosphere as the Scoobies entered.

"You sure this is it?"

"Yeah."

"Looks vacant."

"No. The furniture's new. I think. And the weapons cabinet...I recognize that sword." Buffy's affirmation was further confirmed when a loud cry of pain echoed throughout the hotel. "Angel." Buffy's voice was a whisper, then she ran up the stairs, Riley close behind her, the rest of the group behind him. They stopped outside the door.

"Oh my God." Riley muttered. They all stared at the scene before them. Cordelia was lying on the bed. Angel was next to her, facing her, hands gripping and pulling her shirt, head buried against her abdomen. She looked like she was about to burst into tears as she held him to her, hands caressing, trying to soothe him as Gunn held Angel down on the bed and Wesley poured the colorless liquid on the gigantic gash in Angel's side. With every drop, Angel let out another animalistic sound and held Cordelia closer to him.

"Holy water." Spike said, sensing his grandsire's pain and noting the smoke coming off of Angel's skin.

"It's okay Angel. He's almost done." Wesley finished and Gunn released Angel, backing out of arm distance just in case the angry, hurt vampire took a swing. Instead, the vampire just held on to Cordelia, eyes slammed shut, tears falling from the corners, lips pursed together. Sweat dampened his hair and glistened on his distraught face as he took in deep breaths, willing the pain away.

Cordelia's eyes wandered and her eyes met Buffy's. There was something the slayer couldn't comprehend in the brunette's eyes. Cordelia turned to Wesley and tilted her head slightly so Angel wouldn't notice the movement. Wesley and Gunn looked at Buffy and the two walked out of the room, closing the door behind them, keeping the Scoobies from being noticed by Angel.

"Who are you?" Gunn asked, arms crossed, standing in front of the door.

"Gunn. These are, um, _[I]friends[/I]_ from Sunnydale." Wesley used the term loosely and Gunn understood. Wes introduced everyone, but small talk and greetings were quickly over.

"Wesley. What's wrong with him?"

"Same thing I told you when we were on the phone."

"You didn't say it was this bad."

"Because I didn't want you all rushing down here."

"We came to help. With Angel hurt, you can use all the help you can get. And things have been slow on the Hellmouth so,"

"You decided to rush down here and play super Buffy?"

"You sound like Cordelia."

"Well, we all spend a lot of time together."

"Can we see him?" Wesley and Gunn exchanged a look and what seemed to be a mental conversation as they looked at one another. Wesley nodded and Gunn returned it, then stepped into the room.

"Cordelia?" Angel had released his iron grip on Cordelia, though he still held on to her. His composure had returned, though he was still obviously in pain. But from the looks of it, the wound wasn't going to spread. The edges were hard, like they were scabbing over. Angel's eyes were still closed, but fluttered every now and then.

"Hold on." She went to move but his grip on her tightened once again. She let out a soft chuckle. "Angel. I'll be right back, okay?" He let go of her and she went to Gunn, whispering as low as she could. "What is it?"

"The ex from Hell is here."

"I noticed."

"Wants to see Angel. Wes wanted me to take it up with you." She looked back to Angel, he looked well enough for the time being.

"Yeah. Sure. He already knows they're here, anyway." She went back to the bed and sat down. A strong arm wrapped around her and pulled her down gently beside him, resting himself comfortably against her. "Angel."

"Mmmm."

"Angel. We have company." Angel's swollen eyes opened and he looked at Cordelia, then to the people just inside the door way. Buffy stood in front of them all.

"Buffy?" She gasped at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. It wasn't his voice, it was different. It was so scary. Scratchy, raw, weak as it had never been before.

"Angel." She moved to the other side of the bed, where Cordelia was not laying. "What happened to you?" He faced her as he spoke.

"Long ass story." He said. He blinked for a long moment, giving Buffy just enough time to look down at Cordelia. His left arm was wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her closely to him.

"Hey Cordelia."

"Buffy."

"Brought the whole gang?" Angel said as he noticed the other people in the room. He let out a groan as he noticed Riley, Spike and Xander all standing by one another. "Oh great. The trifecta from hell." Riley glared, Spike snorted, and Xander looked on confused.

"What's a trifecta?"

"So, what brings you here?" Angel asked, ignoring Xander.

"We thought you might need some help. We brought Willow and Giles in case you guys need extra research people. And if you need some extra help fighting-"

"I don't. I'm fine. I can handle it. If these people would just let me get out of bed."

"And what? Fall down the stairs?" Angel glared at Wesley, then tried to get up to show his wellness, only to let out a groan of pain. Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"Smart one, Ace." He glared at her. "Oooh. Real scary Mr. Injured-Grrr-Guy-With-A-Soul."

"You're a bitch, you know that?"

"Thought that's why you hired me." He smiled, then grimaced.

"Why did we do the Holy water thing again?"

"I'm sorry, but until we figure out a way to keep this thing from spreading, that's our only resort." Wesley said sadly. Angel just sighed, then settled back into his original position.

"Sorry guys. But it's been a long week. It's catching up with me. I think I just need some sleep." Wesley and Gunn directed everyone out. Buffy turned as she was leaving and took one last look at the dozing Angel. He looked so weak and helpless. It reminded her of when he came back from hell, when he was still recovering. She took a deep breath and walked out of the room.

"Why's he so sleepy?"

"The pain was getting to be too much for him. We've given him some pain killers. They make him drowsy." Willow nodded. Wesley and Gunn directed the group downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**[B]THREE[/B]**

Angel's arms were wrapped tightly around Cordelia. She did nothing, just let him hold onto her, hands still softly caressing his neck and up and down his spine, the same thing he'd do to her after a vision. She knew he was asleep, but she wanted to enjoy his arms around her for a just a while longer.

Her head was beside him and she took in a deep breath, the scent of burnt flesh gone, Angel's all male scent filling her nostrils. With a sigh, she untangled herself from his arms. He reached out for her and grabbed onto a pillow, holding it close to him. She rolled her eyes and walked out the door, closing it softly and making her way downstairs.

The Scoobies sat together, talking amongst themselves in the lobby. Wesley and Gunn rested against the counter, watching the group intently. Cordelia walked down the steps and was ready to make her way discreetly to Wesley and Gunn when she heard a wolf whistle.

"Damn cheerleader, if I would've known you were gonna grow up to look like this..." Cordelia turned and glared.

"Spike. Did you forget I hate you?"

"Why? Oh. The torturing Angel thing. You would've found a new boss."Cordelia glared, then turned to Wesley.

"So, why are they here?"

"I guess I should be asking you that, Cordelia."

"Huh?"

"Seems you made a phone call to Willow while we were researching?"

"Oh. Yeah. That."

"Well, Buffy called me back."

"I didn't talk to Buffy. I talked to Willow."

"Yeah. But I was in the room when you were talking to Willow. I called Wesley back. He said Angel was hurt, so-" Buffy was cut off.

"So you came down here, ready to save him?" Cordelia asked. "Why? We've got it under control."

"Apparently not if you needed to call Willow." Giles retorted and Cordelia threw her hands up in frustration.

"Whatever."

"Cordelia." Wesley said sternly. She turned to him, receiving a disapproving stare.

"What?"

"I thought we discussed that we weren't going to involve anyone from Sunnydale."

"I know, but-"

"You called them. We would've figured it out."

"Wesley. We were stuck between two possible causes; we had no way to determine which was right. We didn't have enough time to test both. I did what I had to."

"He would've preferred-"

"He can't make his own decisions right now. It's Angel, Wes. Hell, he can't make his own decisions, ever. I think it's worth swallowing our pride if it saves him, don't you?" He stared at her and, eventually, he turned away.

"You're right."

"Duh." She sighed. "No what do we do?"

"I'm gonna go with research. We don't know much about...anything, really."

"Just that Broody pants is broodier than usual. Didn't even get a small greeting before he insulted me." Xander grumbled. He didn't like being insulted with a word he couldn't even understand.

"He is in a lot of pain Xander." Cordelia defended the wounded vampire.

"So? He's always in some sort of pain. Doesn't mean he should be rude."

"Keep in mind he can't get laid without the possibility of going crazy." Spike said, and then snickered. "Glad I don't got that problem."

"Yeah. We're working on that problem." Gunn said. Wesley and Cordelia glared at him.

"What do you mean?" Willow asked before Buffy could even completely register the information.

"It hardly seems relevant at this time..." Off the questioning look on Willow's face, Wesley sighed. "I found something while researching that could give Angel his soul permanently. It's not for sure yet, so we haven't told Angel. Don't want to get his hopes up. But if all goes well, it should work."

"That's extraordinary." Giles said, staring at Wesley.

"But really irrelevant right now." Cordelia said. Buffy glared at her.

"I think it's important."

"Buffy. Your opinion really doesn't matter. Now, you brought the whole gang, including your ex-jock of a boyfriend here, so, might as well put them to use." She turned to Wesley. "On with the research, yeah?" Buffy just stared and Riley frowned, not liking the young woman's reference to him.

"Cordelia's right. To cure Angel, we have to find out how. And since we don't know much of anything, we should get on it now."

"Yeah. You guys do that." Cordelia said, not so stealthily making her way back to the stairs. "I'm gonna go check on Mister Tall, Dark and Medicated." She made her way up the stairs as Wesley plopped a large stack of books on the coffee table. Xander stared longingly after her. He didn't want to research.

"How come Cordy doesn't have to read through this crap."

"She's tending to Angel. She keeps him calm and comfortable."

"I can make Deadboy comfortable."

"Man, that is Scarface limping around up there." Gunn said. "And he don't like you as it is."

"I don't want-"

"Xander." Wesley said sternly. "It's either research or coffee and donuts boy. You take your pick." Xander sighed.

"What are we looking for?"

"Anything possibly useful on Venarzous demons. Possibly cures, spells, whatever you can find. Write it down. We'll compare what we've found when we're through."

Cordelia opened the door as quietly as possible and crept into the room. Angel was lying on his stomach, the wound noticeable on his side. Her eyes drifted up his muscular back to the tattoo on his right shoulder. That tattoo had always intrigued her. She sat beside him, fingers involuntarily reaching out to trace the A at the gryphon's feet.

"It's for Angelus." His voice was hoarse, pain obvious when he spoke.

"I know."

"I just can't bring myself to get rid of it."

"Don't. It's sexy." He raised an eyebrow, though not visible to her.

"But it's for Angelus."

"It can be for Angel too." She traced up the gryphon and he let out a soft sigh of pleasure. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"I woke up when you left." He had held the pillow, and then woke up, knowing it wasn't her.

"Why?"

"Don't know." He turned around, lying on his back with a growl of pain. She lay on the opposite sire of his cut, so she wouldn't hurt him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her flush against him. "Whenever I'm with you, it's like I'm enveloped in a cloud of peace and comfort." She smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He looked at her. "What is that?"

"I don't know." She frowned, not wanting to think about that route when Angel wasn't guaranteed the rest of the week. "You should get some sleep."

"I know. So should you."

"I know." He smirked at her. She raised an eyebrow. "Angel..." Her tone held a warning, one he paid no mind to. She let out a surprised squeak as Angel changed his position so he was laying on her. She let out a cough as his weight knocked the air out of her. "Ow! Hi! You're heavy!"

"You're comfortable." He mumbled, head using her chest as his pillow. He felt her tense, then she relaxed. Her body was flush against his and he breathed in her scent, letting her heart beat and warmth lull him to sleep.

"What am I? Your body pillow?"

"You're mine Cordelia." He muttered, then fell asleep comfortably. She tensed, but her hands kept running through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. Soon, she joined him in slumber, mind racing with thoughts of his mumbled, possessive words.

Cordelia woke up and went to stretch, only to realize she couldn't move. Angel's arms were wrapped tightly around her, face buried into her pulse point. Her butt was pressed against his groin, their legs tangled. She basked in the feeling for a few moments, before trying to slip out of his embrace. The task was not a simple one. His body was as hard as marble and breaking from his hold was not easy.

Cordelia slipped from his hold and he, once again, reached out and grabbed the nearest pillow in reach, holding it tight. She smiled, then went into the bathroom and took a quick shower, hoping he'd still be asleep when she got out.

She finished her shower and pulled on her panties, bra, then the sweats and t-shirt she took from Angel's drawers. When she walked out of the bathroom, she was relieved he was still asleep.

Angel needed his rest. That was a given. But she also didn't know how to face him after his possessive statement last night. Cordelia pulled up her hair into a quick ponytail and made her way downstairs. Everyone was already awake and continuing their research from the night before.

"Hey guys. How's it coming?"

"Not well." Wesley said solemnly. Every optimistic bone in Cordelia's body snapped.

"What?" Cordelia went to him. While everyone's attention was on the words about to come from Wesley's mouth, Buffy made her way up to Angel's room.

The room was dark, the only light from the low-watt lamp beside his bed. She furrowed her brow as she stared at the empty bed. A door opened and she turned to see Angel walk out, towel around his waist.

"Buffy? What are you doing in here?"

"I came to see how you're doing. I'm gonna go with fine." He gave her a quirky grin at her flirtatious tone, went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of black boxers then went into the bathroom, door still open.

"I'm in one piece...kinda." He came out in the boxers only.

"I see." Her eyes on the large gash. "You're very pale." She said, noticing that his skin was lighter than normal.

"Yeah. Thank you."

"I just meant, I can tell you're sick." Angel looked at her and wanted to yell "Duh!" but just gave a small shrug.

"I'll be fine."

"Optimistic."

"Have to be."

"Since when?"

"Talking about your own death tends to destroy the friendly atmosphere. And I've kind of grown accustomed to having them around."

"I see. Very friendly atmosphere. Almost like-"

"A family. I know." And there was a smile, one so bright it lit the dark room. "It's new. But I like it."

"Well, you seem happy."

"I am. It's weird. I smile. I laugh, I crack the occasional joke. Cordy says they're not funny, but I think they are." He said, lying down.

"Wow." Her word held no enthusiasm.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just, you have a life. A real life and I'm not a part of it."

"If I remember correctly, that was your decision."

"I-"

"You wanted your life with Riley and you didn't want me to be a part of it."

"I know. And I thought I meant it. But-"

"But what?"

"But I don't love Riley."

"And what drove you to this miraculous revelation?" He didn't feel good and the last thing he wanted to do was try to sort through Buffy's mixed up thoughts.

"I realized we can be together. Wesley said-"

"I don't care what Wesley said. What's that have to do with you and me?" Angel didn't like where she was going with this.

"Well, now that there might be no curse issues-" Angel had no idea what she was talking about.

"Buffy, you and I didn't just end because the curse."

"But that was part of the issue."

"But not the whole issue. Last year you were in love with Riley. You told me that, threw it in my face-"

"I only did that to make you feel bad."

"Proving the curse was not the only thing wrong with our relationship."

"But I don't love him."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just don't. I thought you'd be happy. I love you Angel, still, always. I could never love Riley like I loved you."

"You didn't love me Buffy."

"The hell I didn't. I know what I felt."

"You were in love with the idea of being in love."

"Stop. You don't know what you're talking about."

"You never loved me. You couldn't."

"You're wrong."

"I'm not. You were in love with me until you learned who and what I was."

"That's not true." Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"It is. As soon as Angelus hit, it woke you up. Blew your fairytale right out of the water. You didn't love me. You couldn't. You knew too much."

"Stop it. Please."

"What?"

"It hurts." She said, nearing a sob.

"How do you think I felt Buffy? I loved you with everything I was. Then I'd look back at you and wouldn't see the same. It ripped me apart inside."

"Maybe I didn't show it. But I did love you. Still do."

"No. You don't. You're just afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of true love."

"I'm not afraid of it Angel. I felt it. When I was with you. Maybe you're just guilting me because you didn't love me. Is that it Angel?"

"Buffy, I loved you with everything I was." He repeated.

"Then why are you making up some lame ass excuse why we can't be together?"

"I'm not. But I won't be with you."

"Why?"

"I won't be the reason you're miserable, the reason you don't find happiness."

"That's bull shit Angel, and you know it."

"It's not Buffy."

"It is. You've moved on, you got your own little clique out here so now you have no room for me." Her tone was bitter, but Angel couldn't help but snort in amusement, causing her to glare at him.

"Buffy, you need to understand something. I loved you. I still care about you. But I won't be with you. I won't be your reason to avoid love. My life is here now, with my friends, my family. What you and I had was everything to me at the time. But it's over. It has been. You can hate me for it if it makes you feel better. Give yourself another reason to avoid love. Or you can thank me for letting you go and letting you move on. Your pick. But know, I won't be coming back to Sunnydale with you. Ever." Buffy stared at him, dumbfounded.

"I, I need to get away from you." She moved to the door, then stopped and turned to him. "Why is it every time I come to LA to see you, I always leave crying?"

"I guess that's another thing wrong with what we had, huh?" She looked at him for a second, then left. Angel sighed, feeling as though he not only set Buffy free, but himself as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**[B]FOUR[/B]**

Angel laid there, mind wandering about nothing, basking in the clarity he felt. His eyes were closed, but he remained awake. The door opened and he tracked her movements by the sound of her heart beat approaching him. Her scent met his nose, along with something salty...tears. She was crying. He opened his eyes and tried to sit up, only to have a sharp stab of pain jolt through his body. He let out a cry of pain and Cordelia was at his side in an instant, preventing any further movement.

"Stay still." He looked up at her, concerned.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not."

"Fine. Why were you crying?"

"I was talking to Wes-"

"Wes made you cry? What'd he do?" Angel asked in a protective tone.

"We were talking about you."

"You were crying because of me?"

"The gang was doing research all night. We found some information on the demon. What it did to you. It's like the flesh eating disease or something. That's why it keeps spreading."

"The holy water?" It was a suggestion he didn't want, but if forced, would take.

"It's only a temporary fix. It'll still spread. Not as quick, but still. We need to find a cure. Soon."

"How soon?"

"Before the end of next week."

"And today is..."

"Friday."

"Friday?"

"Yeah. Including today, we have ten days."

"How?" It was a vague question, but she understood.

"Find the demon. Like the whole telepathy demon thing in Sunnydale."

"I have to drink demon? Ew?" He asked, jokingly.

"Angel this isn't funny." She said seriously. "We need to find this thing or this will eventually kill you. You'll be dead...really dead. Not this undead thing you've been enjoying for the past two hundred plus years. You can't die. I won't let you." Her tone was supposed to hold a command, but it didn't come out as assertive as she'd hoped.

"Cordelia. I would never leave you. Unless you, like, made me or something." He reached his hand up to her cheek, lovingly brushing her tears away with the pad of his thumb. She saw his own tears begin to form, hers only increasing.

"Never leave me Angel." He was shocked by the desperate plea in her voice. It broke his heart and he didn't know what to do. He brought her to him and held her as she tried to hold back her tears, despite the pain it caused to his side.

"Okay." He wanted to make her stop crying, to reassure her that everything would work out. But he couldn't. He pulled her on top of him and held her face between his palms. He stared into her eyes for several seconds, seeing her heart in her hazel orbs. He slowly, tentatively, brought his lips up to hers. She relaxed, allowing him to attempt to kiss her troubles away.

"Angel...we-" she muttered against his lips.

"Shh." He whispered, lips silencing hers completely, succeeding in briefly relieving her of her fears. The two exchanged soft, tender kisses. Tongues sought out the others, sensually moving against the other's. His hands moved down to her hips, holding her close to him, drawing soothing circles on the small of her back; her hands trapped against his bare chest.

"Cordelia?" The two broke apart as they heard Wesley's voice just outside the door. "Cordelia, I need to speak with you." Angel and Cordelia looked at each other, both smiling slightly embarrassed smiles as they realized what just happened.

"Be right there Wes." Cordelia called out. Cordelia let out a nervous chuckle. The noise made Angel laugh. The deep, rich sound comforted her, making her embarrassment dissolve. "I'm...gonna go see what's up, kay?" She retreated from the room and went downstairs. Angel smirked smugly, fingers touching his lips, trying to savor the taste of Cordelia Chase.

Cordelia met up with Wesley and the rest of the research party. "What's up Wes?"

"We located the demon's origin."

"Oh thank God. Where?"

"Michoacan."

"Where?"

"Michoacan. Mexico."

"Then what the hell was it doing in LA?"

"Not sure. But that's their origin according to every book I've read thus far."

"So, we go to Mexico and bring a demon back?"

"It's not that simple. It's an eight hour flight. But, since you can't bring a demon back via plane, you'll have to drive."

"How long-"

"About a day and a half."

"That's a long time Wes."

"I know."

"So, what? We all just pack up and go?"

"Go where?" Angel asked, sneaking up

"Jesus Angel. Skulk much?" She turned and looked at him. "What are you doing out of bed any way?" Her tone turning concerned. "You're supposed to be in bed."

"I got bored. I don't like being up there, all by myself." He sent Cordelia an evil grin. She gulped. This was bad. Quiet, reserved Angel was what she was used to. Mischievous Angel who snuck make out sessions in his bedroom...he petrified her.

"Well, if you're going to be down here, at least go sit down."

"I've been sitting and laying down since you all found out I was hurt." Angel complained, though he made his way to the couch.

"Quit whining."

"I don't whine." He whined. Cordelia raised her eyebrow.

"Well, quit doing whatever you're doing and maybe I'll let you stay down here." Before he could respond, she continued. "You hungry? I'll get you something." Then she was out of the room.

"That chit's like a fuckin whirlwind Peaches." Spike said, seated next to Angel.

"Preaching to the guy who ate the choir Spike." Buffy scrunched up her nose at the disturbing analogy, then at the image of Angel eating the choir. Cordelia brought Angel the mug of blood, along with one for Spike, and a cup of tea for the researching Wesley. Spike was stunned still, and just stared at the red liquid, then at Buffy's horrified stare as she watched Angel drink, then back at Cordelia who was now talking to Willow.

"What a woman." He muttered. Angel finished, then wiped his mouth on his black sleeve.

"I know. Every vampire should get one."

"Damn right. Where can I pick me up one?" Angel snorted as Spike took a drink. "She's got the temperature down."

"I know."

"You're a lucky bastard Peaches."

"Don't I know it." Riley raised an eyebrow. This Angel, he could tolerate. The one that wasn't trying to re-kindle something with his girl.

Cordelia came back into the room and everyone moved closer to Angel.

"So, what were you guys talking about?" Angel asked Cordelia and Wesley. "Pack up and go where?"

"A few of us are going to need to go find the demon."

"Where?"

"Michoacan."

"Mexico?"

"Yup."

"Well, it'll be a shitty trip, but let's go."

"You aren't goin anywhere Mister." Cordelia interrupted. "You're staying in bed and I'm...Wes? What am I supposed to do with you guys gone?"

"You're going Cordelia. Not me. Outside of Angel, you did get the best look at the demon. Who better to go than you?"

"I'm staying with Angel. Gunn saw it. He can go."

"Yes, he did. But that was after it was dead. And I doubt it resembled what it originally looked like. Plus, Gunn's going to need to help hold down the fort."

"Buffy can-"

"She's going with you."

"No. She's not. Cuz I'm not going. Gunn can go and someone else can too and Buffy can 'hold down the fort.'"

"Cordelia. This demon nearly tore Angel to shreds. Buffy is the only one who's strength compares to Angel's."

"What about me?" Spike asked.

"Spike. Sit back down." Angel said. Spike frowned, but did as told. Wes continued.

"Gunn...and Spike of course, will help along with all of us since Angel is too injured to fight."

"Wes..."

"Cordelia. You're going." Wes said sternly, leaving no room for argument.

"Pfft. Fine." Cordelia said, crossing her arms and putting a pout on her face. Angel side-glanced at her and smirked. Cordelia looked at him and smiled.

"Now, this is the plan." Wesley went on to inform the group who was going and what they were going to do.

Wesley had explained that Cordelia, Buffy and Riley were to go to Mexico. Cordelia argued that more people should go and that she shouldn't be one of them. Arguing proved pointless and she continued to pout next to Angel. Spike, Gunn and Wesley would serve as body guards in case word of Angel's state had reached the streets. Willow, Tara, Fred, Giles and Anya would continue researching and perfecting the treatment Wesley wanted no slip ups. Xander would go pick up everything they needed for it, along with Dawn. Wesley would assist them if they needed it, as well as keep in touch with Cordelia, Buffy and Riley while they were in Mexico. Everything was set, and everyone knew their place. No one argued with the young ex-watcher.

"And we're supposed to bring the damn thing back into the country how?"

"You really think the border patrol is going to stop you when they can't see it because it's in your trunk?"

"No. I think when they check the trunk they'll see the damn demon!"

"Cordelia. You honestly thing they'll be crazy enough to stop someone with a dead demon in their trunk?"

"I-"

"Cordelia-"

"So, when do we leave?" Cordelia asked, tone bitter.

"The sooner, the better. I suggest pack yourselves some things for a few days and head out in a few hours." Cordelia wanted to argue, but knew it'd be pointless.

"I guess I'm gonna go to my place and get some things." Cordelia left. The first time she'd left the hotel since finding out Angel was sick. Angel watched her go and sighed. Things felt different without Cordelia at his side. All of a sudden, he was afraid. Without her by his side, the possibility that next week he might not be here, that he might not see her smile again, it seemed so much more possible.

Angel took in a deep breath, then winced as he felt a sharp pain he was growing too used to. It only increased his fear. He pursed his lips, then ran his tongue over them, trying to find Cordelia's taste from earlier. He had kissed his best friend, and in that moment, everything had seemed so much clearer. With her gone, ever for a few moments, things were murky again. He didn't know how he'd survive her being gone when they went to find the demon.

"So...what's up Deadboy?" Angel turned and glared at Riley. "Xander told me the name. It suits."

"Riley."

"So, how's things with you and the very hot Cordelia?" Angel growled. "You know, you're not so much the alpha male now that you're all weak and hurt, you know?"

"Maybe not. But I'll still kick your pansy ass."

"Why? It's not like you want Buffy anymore. You got you're new-"

"Maybe not. But I still don't like you much."

"Feelings mutual."

"Then get the hell away from me." Angel said, pushing Riley off the couch, then growling as pain shot through his body.

"Angel!" Buffy said in a scolding tone, going to Riley's side. Riley smiled victoriously, none the wiser of why Buffy was being so hostile toward Angel.

"Buffy, you're not gonna yell at me in my own home, got it?" Angel's voice was too strained to hold a threat, but it was implied and Buffy understood.

"We should go start repacking for the trip." Buffy said, grabbing Riley's hand and leading him upstairs.

When Cordelia returned, Angel wasn't on the couch anymore. After talking briefly with Wesley, then with Buffy and Riley to see if they were ready to go, she moved up the stairs to talk with Angel before leaving.

He was laying down when she entered the room. She smiled down at him.

"You throw a tantrum about being stuck up here just so you can end up back up here, laying down?"

"Guess so."

"What's up?"

"I don't know. All of a sudden I was in a lot of pain and was really tired. So, I came back up here to get some rest."

"I should let you rest then."

"No. You should stay with me for a while."

"Okay." She looked him over. He was obviously in a tremendous amount of pain. She would give anything for a miracle cure this instant, but she'd have to settle with medicating him so he wouldn't have to suffer through the pain. "Want me to give you something?"

"What did you have in mind, baby?" Angel asked in a seductive tone, his eyebrows raised.

"Not like that." Cordelia went over to the kitchen and poured the blood into a mug, then popped it in the microwave. She grabbed some cough syrup she had left here when she had the flu, and the pain killers she had been giving him. She handed him the drug-spiked drink. He accepted it and drank, despite the taste.

"Yuck?" She smiled at the face he made, then made her way next to him. He pulled her down so she was laying down, facing him. He gave her a crooked smile and brought her closer, holding her tight.

"You know, when you wake up, I'll probably be in Mexico."

"Be careful."

"I will."

"I'm gonna miss holding you for those nights you're gone."

"We've only spent two nights together."

"And a few days." She smiled.

"True. I like waking up in your arms Angel."

"Maybe when you get back we can arrange something."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"Angel..."

"Because the curse? I know about what Wes found."

"How do you know?"

"Buffy told me."

"What? Why?"

"She wanted to get back together. I told her it wasn't happening. She tried to play the 'anchored soul' card and was extremely pissed when it didn't fly." Cordelia nodded as she listened. She didn't know what emotion was stronger, her anger at Buffy for telling Angel something he shouldn't know yet, or happiness that it didn't work and he wouldn't get back with her.

"Angel. That possible anchored soul thing...it's not for sure."

"I know."

"Then maybe you shouldn't jump ahead. Especially when you don't know if you'll make it through next week."

"I know."

"Then we shouldn't talk about an 'us' that isn't there."

"It could be."

"I don't know."

"Cordelia. I kissed you. You didn't pull away. You kissed me back. You wanted me just as bad as I want you."

"I know." Her eyes lowered and he brought them back up to his. His hand moved her hair behind her ears and he smiled at her softly, and somewhat sleepily.

"Cordelia. I don't know where this, you and I, is going. I don't know if it's going anywhere. I don't know how strongly I feel for you or what I feel for you." She looked stunned. "But I do know I feel something. I know it goes beyond you being my best friend, beyond being my employee. It's something new. And I also know that after I'm cured, anchored soul or not, I'm willing to give it a shot. How about you?" She smiled sheepishly.

"What if I say no?"

"You won't."

"You're extremely confidant."

"I have every right to be."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Prove it." He smiled and leaned forward, kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. They pulled away. "This is insane Angel."

"Cordy. Everything about our lives is insane. Why wouldn't our relationships be?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Since when do you make sense?"

"Since you really, really want to believe me."

"Get some sleep Angel." He smirked and held her in a looser grip, allowing her to turn her back to him, then he brought her close against him again.

"Night Cor."

"Night Angel."

Cordelia laid awake in Angel's arms. She really was going to miss this for the next few days. She once again, untangled herself from his hold, then walked downstairs where Buffy and Riley were waiting to leave.

"Took you long enough." Buffy quipped. Cordelia glared.

"Are you deficient?"

"What?"

"You told Angel about us trying to find something to anchor his soul."

"Well, yeah."

"After we told you not to."

"I wanted-"

"Buffy. The chances of that happening aren't good."

"I just thought-"

"What? That you could get Angel back by telling him his soul was permanent? That was one of the most selfish things you've every done Buffy. Which is saying a lot for you."

"I-" She turned to Riley who was sending her an angry, hurt look. Then she turned back to Cordelia. "I just wanted to see..."

"Buffy. I don't want to know your reasons, nor do I care because they didn't work. Now, let's go to Mexico and do what we have to do. I don't want to be around you any more than I have to."

"Cordelia, don't get your Queen C bitch attitude with me."

"Then don't try to mess with my friend's head. I know what your intentions were Buffy. Now let's go do what we have to do. Angel doesn't have much time as it is." Cordelia turned away from the blonde. "Wes. I'll call you when we get there. Don't tell Angel I'm taking his car. He'll flip."

"All right. And I'll call you if I find anything useful for your search."

"Okay." Cordelia said her goodbyes, as did Buffy and Riley. She made the two sit in the back, not wanting to be anywhere near the blonde. She was so angry with the stupid slayer. But she couldn't focus on that. She needed Buffy and Riley's help to catch the demon to save Angel. That was all that mattered right now.


	4. Chapter 4

**[B]FIVE[/B]**

After Cordelia, Buffy and Riley reached their destination, Cordelia called Wesley to assure them they had made it.

"Don't worry Wes. We've got two rooms, we're checked in. We're going to get some rest, then start demon hunting."

"Very well. Be careful. The demon is-"

"Yeah. Scary. I got it Wes."

"All right. Now, if Angel wakes up-"

"He won't. I gave him double doses of cough syrup and Vicadin and he's exhausted. He should be out for a while. And if he wakes up and is in a lot of pain, just re-dose him."

"Okay." Wesley didn't understand why he was taking orders from the young woman. Yet he was agreeing.

"Oh yeah. Just lay off the holy water."

"But if it's spreading."

"It's going to spread anyway. All that's going to do is put him in even more pain. I don't think he can handle it anymore."

"All right Cordy."

"Take care of him Wes." Wesley smiled softly on the other line.

"I will. Goodbye Cordelia. Get some rest."

"You too Wes. Bye." She hung up and Cordelia sat there in the darkness of her room. She'd rather be back in LA. Anywhere but this room, Buffy and Riley arguing in the room beside her about Buffy trying to lure Angel back to her.

Cordelia closed her eyes and blocked out the bickering couple, exhaustion taking over her body.

Angel laid still, silk sheets and comforter up to his waist, his mind in a blissful daze. Everything felt like it was in slow motion and suddenly, he had no pain. But despite the feeling, he was still missing something.

He took in a deep breath. He missed Cordelia and she had only been gone...how long had she been gone? Everything was a blur.

Angel tried to sit up, but it felt like he couldn't move. Yet for some reason, he didn't really care. He laid back down and let sleep wash over him, a deep uneasy feeling coming over him and making his sleep restless.

An angry, frustrated and discouraged Cordelia was nearing the brink of tears as she spoke into the phone with Wesley.

"Cordelia. Please. Just calm down."

"Wes. We've looked. Everywhere. And I mean everywhere. We've exhausted every resource we had."

"What are you saying?"

"It's not here."

"That's impossible."

"Wesley. It's not here. We've looked and looked."

"But everything I've read-"

"Is wrong. It's not here Wes." Wesley grew quiet on the other end. His insecurities and feelings of failure fighting their way to the surface. "Wes!"

"What?"

"I said, 'What now?'"

"I, I don't know." Cordelia let out a sound that was part sigh, part sob on the other line.

"He needs this Wes."

"I know." Wesley sighed. "Just...come home Cordelia. If it's not there, it's not there. By the time you come home, we'll still have about three days. We'll figure something out. I'll start looking." Cordelia nodded on the other end slowly, Riley and Buffy's eyes on her.

"Okay. Bye Wes." She hung up. Wesley stared at the phone. He hadn't been expecting this. He took of his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had to find something. Soon.

"What'd he say?" Buffy asked, saddness in her voice.

"He said come home. It's not here, so no point in staying here. If it was here, we would've found it. We've been here for four days. He said they're going to start looking for something else. Anything else."

"What else is there?" Riley asked. He almost felt sorry for the vampire. Cordelia shrugged.

"I dont' know. But we need to get back. We're running out of time." The two nodded in agreement.

The three made their way back to the hotel, got their stuff and headed back to Los Angeles.

After talking with the group for a while about their lack of findings, Cordelia made her way up to Angel's room. She opened the door quietly, even though she knew he'd still wake up, if he wasn't already.

Sure enough, when she walked in, he watched her as she made her way next to him. She laid down beside him and he held her close, inhaling the scent and basking in the warmth he had been deprived of for the past several days.

"I take it you missed me?"

"Like crazy." He mumbled. "I hated being away from you."

"I know the feeling." The two exchanged a smile, though Cordelia's didn't quite meet her eyes and didn't possess the brightness Angel loved.

"So, where's my demon daiquiri?" Cordelia frowned. "What's wrong?"

"We couldn't find the demon Angel." Off his stoic expression, she elaborated. "We looked the entire time, all over the damn place. But we couldn't find it. But Wesley and the others are looking for anything they can find. We're gonna find a cure Angel. I promise you." She told him convincingly. He nodded, taking in the information. When he finally looked back up at her, she almost grew dizzy with the powerful mixed emotions in his eyes.

"Cordelia, I have something I need to tell you. But you can't respond, okay?"

"Angel, I don't-"

"No. Just listen. Whether you feel the same or not, don't say it. Because if I die-"

"Angel!"

"Cordelia." He said, voice almost scolding, but eyes pleading with her to let him finish. "If I die, and you tell me you feel the same, I'll have left you with a broken heart. But if you don't say the words, maybe it'll be easier for you when I'm gone." Though she didn't agree and didn't like his pessimistic tone, she didn't argue.

"I'm listening Angel."

"I love you Cordelia." She froze, startled by the words.

"What?

"I love you Cordelia. I love you so much..." She looked at him, surprised by the sincerity. His voice was hoarse from the ever increasing pain from the demon attack. His eyes shone with emotion, a vulnerability he never let her, or any of the group, see. His face that of a demon admitting to his weakness.

"I..." she wanted to tell him back, but he wouldn't allow it.

"I know." He told her in a low pitched voice she almost didn't hear. "Just, don't say the words, okay?" She looked at him, suddenly frustrated. She didn't know whether to cry or scream. He always made things so difficult. She looked back at him, his damn beautiful chocolate brown eyes staring at her.

"What _[I]can[/I]_ I say?" She asked, needing to express her love for him.

"A kiss wouldn't hurt." She smiled and complied, showing him how much she loved him in return in that one kiss. Angel kissed her back, giving into the desperation he felt. If he was going to leave this earth, at least he'd leave with the knowledge that Cordelia loved him back, even though he wouldn't let her say it.

He pulled away from her, then kissed the tip of her nose. He pulled her closer to him, laying her on her back, then resting his head above her heart. The beating beneath him was like soft, soothing music and he sighed contently, knowing he'd made the right decision in telling her. He smiled, eyes closed as he took comfort in her body beneath him.

"You know, when you get better, you can't take what you said back." He looked up at her, amused. "I'm serious. When you get better, you're kinda mine." Her tone was light and amused, but held no room for argument.

"Deal." He agreed, hoping that his friends would find something to cure him so he could live up his side of the deal. Exhaustion over took his body, and he fell asleep, Cordelia's hands running softly through his hair.

Downstairs, Wesley, Gunn, and the Scoobies searched frantically for a clue of where the demon might be. They had no leads and hoped seemed lost.

"This can't be it." Wesley said desperately to no one in particular. Giles looked up sadly at the younger watcher, someone he never expected to show actual emotion for a vampire he used to despise and fear.

"We've looked through everything." Giles said.

"I know."

"We got in touch with The Council and they couldn't find anything other than what the books said."

"I know."

"There's nothing else."

"I know, dammit!" Wesley said, frustrated, slamming the book closed and standing up, pacing. Gunn looked up at him, polishing Angel's favorite sword for a reason he still didn't understand. It kept his mind off the fact that everything pointed to the death of his friend. Normally a dead vampire wouldn't make Gunn so upset, but as much as he wouldn't admit it verbally, he really did like Angel and the little group they had.

A phone ringing startled everyone out of their deep thoughts. Wesley answered.

"Hello?" He said, voice indicating he really didn't want to be on the phone.

"Wesley, sweetie, I got some-"

"Who the hell is this?"

"It's Lorne."

"Oh Lord."

"Look, I know I'm not Darth vamp's favorite company, but I got some info on Brown Eye's condition...and cure." Wesley straightened.

"I'm listening."

"Recent immigration sweetheart. California's the thing. Check out Olivera Street."

"Olivera Street? Just have demons running around amongst the diners?"

"Do I have to explain everything? You're the brain. Underground. But I'd get on it. From what I've heard, the Big Guy don't got much time." Lorne hung up and Wesley stared at the phone.

"Go figure."

"What's up English?" Wesley side glanced at Gunn, then answered his question.

"That was Lorne."

"The green dude?"

"Yeah. He's got some information-"

"And we're actually taking it?"

"Gunn, letting me finish would be good." Gunn went back to polishing the sword, but still paid attention. "According to him, the demon we're looking for is under Olivera Street."

"He isn't really reliable when it comes to information Wesley." Gunn said. Wesley sighed.

"I know. But really, we don't have any other lead. We have no other choice. It's worth a shot."

"I'm for it." Gunn said, twirling the sword. It fell to the floor with a loud clank. He smiled sheepishly, then reached for his home made hub-cap sword. "Let's bounce."

**[B]SIX[/B]**

Wesley walked up the stairs to Angel's suite, anxious to give Cordelia the hopefully good news. Buffy followed Wesley. She needed to talk to Angel, needed to apologize for what she tried to do several days ago. The two stopped in front of the suite, opened the door, then stared at the couple laying on the bed.

Cordelia lay on her back, arms wrapped around Angel's body loosely. Her head was tilted to the side, facing down toward his face. Angel lay above her, one leg swung over her two. His arm brushed her shirt up in is sleep, his hand sprawled out against her abdomen, bringing the heat into his own skin. His head was buried in her neck, her pulse teasing his senses, but her breathing and the way she held him keeping him calm.

Wesley and Buffy stared at the two, feeling as if they were interrupting something extremely intimate. Buffy watched Angel and Cordelia, everything becoming all too obvious. Angel didn't need to go to Sunnydale to find love. He had already found it here in Los Angeles, in the arms of Cordelia Chase.

"Wesley. I'll um, I'll be in the car, okay?" Buffy knew, some where deep down, about Angel and Cordelia. But when faced with it, well, she wasn't quite ready to handle it.

Wesley nodded, understanding. He felt just as awkward in the presence of the two people on the bed. He approached Cordelia quietly, then shook her shoulder with just enough force to wake her. She opened her eyes, blinking the sleep away.

"Wes?" She whispered.

"I need to speak with you. Meet me downstairs." He retreated, closing the door quietly. She lifted her head and looked down at Angel's face. She smiled. He looked so peaceful. And the small smirk on his face was so sexy...

Cordelia reluctantly slid herself from beneath him and sat up, swinging her legs to the side of the bed. Angel muttered something in his sleep; his arm reaching out, hand closing around her wrist. She held her breath, waiting until the bite of his fingers lessened.

When it did, she pulled her hair from her face and moved down the stairs. The closer she got to the lobby, the faster reality came back to her. Angel loved her, or so he had said. She wasn't sure she believed him though. His love seemed to have come at the worst time, at his most needy time...

Cordelia shook those thoughts away. Just the thought that Angel might love her filled her heart with something she couldn't even define. But the chances of him surviving the week weren't good, and it ripped her heart to shreds.

"What's up Wes?"

"Cordelia. Lorne called." She scrunched up her face.

"Uh-huh?"

"He thinks he may know where to find the demon." Cordelia's heart stopped.

"Where?"

"It's not for sure."

"Where, Wesley?"

"Olivera Street. Everyone's basically there now. Buffy and I are going to go check it out too. She's waiting in the car. Hopefully, we'll find what Angel needs."

"I hope so."

"Me too."

"Should I go with?"

"I think you should stay with Angel. He seems to have a powerful attachment to you Cordelia." She gulped.

"I know. He trusts me Wes. I've been here-"

"You don't have to justify yourself Cordy. Seeing you two together is enough of an explanation for anyone."

"You think?"

"I think there's definitely something beyond friends."

"I think so too."

"I'm going to go find that demon so you both can figure out what your hearts probably already know." He gave her a quick smile, then left.

Cordelia helped a semi-conscious Angel down the stairs. She prayed Wesley, Gunn and everyone would burst through the doors. So when they did, she wasn't sure if it actually happened, or if it was just extreme wishful thinking.

She realized it was reality when the stench of dead demon hit her nose in powerful waves. She nearly gagged at the intense stench. Angel did it for her.

"Oh God. What is that?" He asked, the smell too much for his vampire senses. His voice sounded like that of someone delirious with a fever, bordering on consciousness. _[I]Duh Cordelia! He's basically passed out on top of you.[/I]_ Cordelia shook her head.

"Let me go talk to Wes, okay?" Cordealia slipped from his arms and went to the group, nose scrunched up. "Wes, what the hell?"

"Cordelia, we found it." Wesley said almost breathlessly. Cordelia stared at him.

"What?"

"The demon Cordelia. We have it. Well, parts of it. Thus, the horrible stench."

"I noticed."

"Yes, well, all we have to do now is prepare everything, then we'll give Angel the treatment. He'll probably be out of it for a while after, but he'll be recovering." Cordelia had no idea what to say. She was so happy, she just went up to Wesley and hugged him tight. He was startled for a moment, then hugged her back.

"I kind of love you Wes." He smiled at her.

"Love you too Cordelia. Just make sure Angel doesn't hear that. He's very possessive over the women he cares about." He gave her an un-Wesley-like wink, then went to go help Willow prepare.

Cordelia walked back to Angel. He smiled at her as she sat next to him, wrapping his arms around her. She snuggled into him. Everyone was busy doing...whatever Wesley assigned them to do in the other room, none of them paying attention to the two on the couch.

Cordelia grabbed Angel's hand, fingers lacing with his. She brought his hand up to her face and kissed his knuckles lovingly. He brought his hand up to her face, cupping her cheek, and bringing her mouth up to his. They pulled away, Angel looking even more dazed than before.

"I love you." She smiled.

"I know."

"You're smiling."

"I like hearing you say that. And soon, maybe I'll be able to tell you back?"

"Cordelia-"

"Angel. Wes got the demon." He smiled.

"Well, if it works-"

"Must you always be so damn pessimistic?"

"I'm just saying-"

"Angel."

"I don't want to get my hopes up yet, okay? After it works, then we'll talk." She frowned, but understood his reasoning.

Buffy watched from a darkened corner. She couldn't hear what he had said. But she didn't need to. The affection between the two was obvious. They were both so comfortable with one another and when Angel was with her, it was as if nothing else existed. Not his pain, not Buffy, nothing but Angel and Cordelia. Despite herself, Buffy smiled softly. The two did look cute together. Buffy took in a deep breath. Though she didn't want to, she'd be the bigger person and try to be happy for the two.

Time passed and eventually, the group gathered around and gave Angel a bottle that resembled a vase full of a very foul looking, and smelling, purple-gray liquid. Angel sniffed it then turned his head.

"I gotta drink this crap?"

"Or you could just let the poison eat away at the rest of your body." Wesley said in such a tone that Angel just glared at him. He stared at the liquid and tried to swirl it. It jiggled and he nearly gagged.

"Angel. Drink it." Cordelia said. He nodded. With one last look, he downed it as quick as he could. The face of disgust made Cordelia snort with amusement. The last thing he saw was the sparkle of amusement in her eyes before he blacked out.

Angel's head fell forward limply, body doing the same. Cordelia held onto him, then looked up at Wesley.

"I told you he'd be out of it for a while."

"You didn't say he'd knock out like he'd been hit over the head with a crow bar."

"He's fine Cordelia. This is good." She glared. "It means that this stuff," he said, indicating the now empty vase-like bottle, "is working."

"Well, you guys help me get him upstairs." She commanded, leaving no room for argument. Gunn and Wesley got to it. Cordelia was about to head up when a strong grip tightened around her wrist. She turned, some what surprised to see Buffy staring at her.

"Cordelia. I need to talk to you." The Seer looked confused, but nodded, leading them to Angel's office. The door closed behind them.

"What's up Buff?" Cordelia said, then grimaced. "That just don't sound right coming from me, does it?" Buffy smiled.

"Not really. I um, I wanted to tell you that we'll probably all head out. Since we don't know when Angel will wake up, tell him bye and get well soon from all of us, okay?"

"Yeah. But, why you guys leaving so soon?" Cordelia didn't really want them here, but she didn't want them to leave without saying good bye to Angel.

"Well, we're not really need here, you know? Plus, I'd really like to get back to my mom."

"Yeah. I get that." Buffy nodded, wrapping her arms around her body tightly.

"That, amongst other things."

"What other things?"

"When I talked to Angel-"

"You mean tried to bribe him to go back to Sunnydale?"

"It was hardly bribery." Buffy said, then frowned. That was not the point of this conversation. "Anyway, he said that he had a life here and a bunch of other things. I thought about it a lot. I couldn't understand why he'd reject the love I was willing to offer-"

"Buffy, I don't understand what this has to do with me."

"Let me finish. I couldn't understand why he'd let love go." Buffy finally looked up at Cordelia. "But when I saw you two asleep together," Cordelia's eyes widened, "and when I saw you two talking and cuddling on the couch..." Cordelia was thinking of anything she could do to ward off the hostile attack that was sure to come. "I guess it all just made too much sense."

"Huh?" Cordelia was lost.

"You two just looked so...perfect together. I didn't want to see it, didn't want to acknowledge the connection you two had but, it was too obvious to not. I've never seen Angel look at anyone like he looked at you, not even me." Buffy's voice was thick, eyes shining with tears she refused to let fall. "He doesn't need to come back with me to find love. He already found it with you."

A tear escaped Cordelia's eye just as one fell from Buffy's. Both wiped at them at the same time, then exchanged a small smile.

"Anyway," Buffy said, letting out a deep breath, "since I'm trying to be a good person, I figured I should leave. Staying here and seeing you two, as much I really am happy for Angel...and you too, having to see you too cuddled together and whatever, it's kind of like salt in an opened wound, you know?" Cordelia smiled sadly.

"I get it."

"Well, keep us updated. Any new apocalypses, give us a ring, okay?"

"You too." The two looked at each other, then embraced one another in a quick hug.

"Good bye Cordelia."

"Bye Buffy."

Buffy walked to the door, put her hand on the door knob, then turned to face Cordelia, looking very serious.

"Take care of him Cordelia."

"I will."

"If you hurt him..." Her voice cracked.

"Buffy, if I hurt him, I'd kick my own ass." She said with a smile. Buffy nodded, then walked out. Cordelia took a deep breath, then smiled shakily. This, she did not expect.

Angel was back in that place again. Where everything moved so slowly it was almost stopped. He laid back and enjoyed the simplicity of it. But this time, nothing was missing. He opened his eyes, vision blurry. As it cleared, he turned his head and starred into the hazel eyes of his love.

"Hey." Cordelia said, happy to see him awake.

"Hey."

"How you feeling?"

"Little light headed, but good."

"You look good." He smiled. "The wound is almost completely scabbed over. In a few days or so, it should be gone."

"Good." His reaction wasn't very enthusiastic, but she knew he wasn't usually one for words. He grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers again like he had...he didn't know how long ago. "How long have I been out."

"You slept through the night and most the day. It's about 10:30."

"You sleep last night?"

"A little. In here. But I couldn't sleep very well. I was worried. I wanted to be here and awake when you woke up " He grinned. She returned it. "So," she said, running a finger over his bottom lip, "can I tell you I love you back now?" Angel's grin turned to a full out smile that brightened the room.

"Yeah."

"I love you Angel." He nearly blissed out then and there.

"I love you too Cordy." She smiled and hugged him to her. He brought face up to his and kissed her with a slow, all-consuming sweetness that she couldn't resist even if she tried.

Cordelia knew she had things to tell him. About the removal of the happy clause that might never happen. About Buffy realizing Angel's feelings for her. But when he kissed her, everything but her love and need for him evaporated.

She broke away from him with a smile. Looking in his face, despite all the problems that they would face, she knew they could make it work. But not if he kept sending her that look, a mischevious grin on his face...

"Angel."

"I know." He said. "Wesley needs to find that spell or whatever to get rid of the happy clause. Eventually, this is gonna get hard." He said, referring to having her so close to him. "But for now, I like just holding you."

Cordelia nodded in response, then yawned, her lack of sleep catching up with her. He brought her above him, her head rested on his chest. He kissed her hair and wrapped his arms around her. With someone like Cordelia, only holding her for eternity was an incredible intimacy in itself, one he never experienced with someone else.

He smiled as she fell asleep, eventually, joining her, his body taking her warmth and her love into his own.

**[B]END[/B]**


End file.
